Kiku Collins: New Blog

As my very good friend and inspiration Debbie Oliver (www.ameriface.org) always says, "How do YOU measure success?"

Success to many is fame, money, cars... and that is usually to those who don't have. There is a mentality that life will get better, problems will go away "if only I have lots of money", or "if I get famous". And for many, those moments are the beginning of more problems.

It's been a time of introspection for me. I love the success I've enjoyed, and it's not about playing with so-and-so or what's-her-face. It's about helping my daughter realize her worth, passing a hard math test that she swore she'd fail, taking the training wheels off of her bike for the first time, watching her enjoy something that used to terrify her for reasons unknown. Baking cookies because we had a "great week". This to me is success, even when I struggle to pay the bills.

What brings this all up, you may wonder? Life. We sometimes work so hard toward others goals, what other people think [...]

Any NYers can join team TNT to walk with us! We had lots of fun last year!

http://support.yai.org/site/TR/Events/CPC2010?pg=team&fr_id=1080&team_id=11310

xo,
NP

Sometimes we sit on the edge - our last nerve, our last penny, a cliff, wherever or whatever. It all feels the same at one specific moment that we can't pinpoint, but we know it's true in hindsight. Do we fall? Usually not. Faith keeps us up, emotions simmer down, and when we're lucky, we look at all that holds us up, and sometimes faith is enough.

In our modern world, we spend countless hours, days, months and years worrying about getting sick and dying, losing our homes, or worse. Does society bring us to these negative thoughts? Do we create them? Do we make them real if we concentrate hard enough, convince ourselves we have some plague, or destiny wandering the streets looking for a scrap of food, a stairwell to sleep in... do we have control over how our cells morph, our next job, our next smile?

We definitely have control of a smile. And if that smile can bring a happy thought, like things aren't as bad as we can create in our heads, love surrounds us and runs through us, [...]

I'm over this winter thing. I look out my window and see white snow and nothing else. But much like looking down the train tracks trying to will a train to hurry up, I can't look out the window to make it stop. So I look out and see how beautiful it is instead, even though I'm tired of it. It is a gift, after all, like so many gifts we take for granted or complain about. Yes, the sweater your relative knitted for you that you have to wear on Christmas. The one that doesn't fit, itches, and reminds you of a potholder, just bigger. But you wear it for love, and I accept the snow as a gift of love too.

Just can't wait for it to melt!

I can already tell that 2010 will be a very different year. I'm so lucky in so many ways, I work hard, but I need to play hard as well. And not just the trumpet, I need to enjoy life and stop accepting other peoples burdens and guilt as my own. I know my place in life, I have one person besides myself to take care of, and I finally feel - though I [...]

Life passes us so quickly sometimes. I'm trying to savor the good stuff, learn (or not) from the bad stuff, enjoy the yin/yang of life as it is and how it is presented to us, and used by us - of course. The path winds, turns, and always ends up at what really matters.

Sometimes we forget what matters. And sometimes we forget that we will reach the End of the Matter.

xo,
NP